Divorcing Tools - 1 Day Weekend Workshop.
Course Outline:
There are nearly 150,000 applications for divorce each year in England and Wales. Although the
divorce rate has been falling, it does not take into account the increasing number of couples who choose not to marry or those in civil partnerships whose relationships have broken down. There is no doubt that divorce and separation both cause very real emotional upheaval for everyone involved, including any children, friends and family. In short, divorce and separation can be a very isolating, painful, stressful and expensive process.
This groundbreaking workshop will be invaluable for anyone (married or not) whose relationship is ending, whether they are the instigator or the unsuspecting partner. It will enable you to develop specific practical skills and communication techniques that will be particularly useful throughout the divorce/separation process. This is a confidential, informal and non-judgemental workshop. It will help you to discover the numerous potentially expensive and stressful pitfalls and problem areas that you may encounter along the way, and it will give you the confidence and skills to pre-empt and manage these situations effectively, thereby reducing the stress and associated expense. It may well also help you to move on more quickly into the next phase of your life.
The development of interpersonal skills traditionally has been targeted specifically at the business community in order to provide solutions for dealing with various workplace situations. However, it was personal experience of the difficult and stressful divorce and separation process that inspired the conception of the Divorcing Tools model by H2 Training and Consultancy. It was developed by a small group of H2 Consultants who between them have significant personal and professional experience in the related fields of occupational psychology; interpersonal effectiveness training; skills coaching; divorce and personal counselling, as well as having survived the divorce and separation process themselves.
Divorcing Tools reapplies the tried and tested skills and techniques of emotional intelligence,
assertive communication, strategic problem solving, negotiation and conflict resolution (amongst others) to the specific challenges of a relationship breakdown.
Key Aims:
1. To enable participants to develop confidence and skills to behave and communicate effectively, in order to work towards and to achieve positive outcomes from their relationship breakdown.
2. To focus on key issues and challenges relating to a relationship breakdown, such as: developing and maintaining confidence and self-esteem, looking after the children’s best interests, dealing with aggression and conflict, managing relationships with friends and family and getting the best from your solicitor.
3. To introduce powerful and flexible tools and techniques for surviving the divorce/separation
process whatever the participants’ previous experience or circumstances.
4. To facilitate the development of strategies for maintaining participants’ ongoing post workshop personal support and development.
5. To cover essential topics in a relatively short time, that can be applied easily to real-life situations with immediate effect.
Key Benefits:
Participants will learn how to:
• Get the best results from their dealings with professional services, such as solicitors, financial advisers and mediators, in order to minimise unnecessary pressure, time and expense
• Minimise the financial, emotional, practical and social costs of their divorce
• Maintain self-esteem and increase confidence to assert their needs when communicating with their ex-partner and with their advisers
• Anticipate and confidently handle complex relationship/friendship issues that inevitably arise in a divorce/separation situation by setting realistic new groundrules and redefining boundaries
• Proactively handle the process of change and how to take personal control of difficult situations through strategic planning and creative problem solving
• Develop a more confident and competent negotiating style, in order to protect their own interests and get the best outcomes
• Make, refuse and respond to requests more effectively to help reach a quicker resolution and
avoid unnecessary, frustrating and expensive stalemate
• Improve communication and develop cooperative and supportive relationships with all parties to the divorce/separation, in order to ease the process to a speedier resolution
• Deal more confidently and effectively with conflict and anger from others
• Maintain their composure, balance and dignity even when provoked
• Take a broader perspective and decrease personal stress and anxiety
• Exercise control to help avoid any feelings of resentment, anger, guilt and helplessness
Uniquely the Divorcing Tools workshop IS about:
• Providing a structured practical workshop facilitated and designed by experienced professionals to develop specific skills and techniques that are invaluable in the divorce/separation process
• Providing a safe and comfortable environment conducive to personal reflection, learning and
development
• Facilitating participants to reflect upon the consequences and benefits of a range of actions and behaviours
• Empowering individuals to feel more confident about their own choices and actions
• Enabling participants to become self supporting and to develop their own support networks
The Divorcing Tools workshop is NOT about:
• “Tea and sympathy”: it is not a self help group lacking professional input
• Sitting in an uncomfortable community centre
• Pressurising participants to share their personal details and insecurities
• Creating an expensive or dependent ongoing relationship with our organisation
• Judging peoples’ lifestyle and relationship choices or decisions
• Promoting any particular product, service, cause or faith
• Promoting any particular approach or outcome to relationship difficulties
• Offering legal advice of any type
Outline Programme:
This workshop runs over 2 days, from 10.30am on a Saturday until about 4pm on Sunday. Day one will consist of a number of instructor-led sessions as detailed in the outline programme below. These will be a combination of relaxed but informative self-reflective exercises, discussions and presentations of tools and techniques by the trainers.
The second day will be less structured. It will begin with some sessions that will help you to crystallise the skills and techniques that you learned on day one into a personal action plan. You will also have further opportunity to chat with other course participants, to share experiences and to make the most of the spa and leisure facilities onsite
(for those opting to stay). We would highly recommend attending both days of the workshop as it has been carefully designed to include a balance of learning and relaxation and will give you an opportunity to step back and gain perspective on your current situation.
DAY ONE - 10.30am to 5.30pm
• Begin with the end in mind – Identifying realistic goals to aim for throughout the divorce/separation process. Taking a broader perspective to decrease personal stress and anxiety.
• The enemy within versus the enemy without – Understanding the difference between internal and external influencing factors and their contribution to either creating positive or negative outcomes. Learning how to take personal responsibility for improving communication and developing cooperative and supportive relationships with all parties.
• Seeing the “bigger picture” – Identifying the complex emotional, interpersonal, practical and financial issues that inevitably arise throughout the divorce/separation process. Considering
how the various issues interrelate.
• Dealing with the issues – Minimising the potential emotional, social, practical and financial costs of divorce/separation, including setting realistic new groundrules and redefining relationship boundaries.
• What are the key skills, tools and techniques? – Considering the techniques available for dealing with the complex issues identified in the previous sessions. Learning how to take personal control of difficult situations through strategic planning and creative problem solving.
• Self-esteem and confidence – Learning how to develop and maintain self-esteem and understanding the importance of these in underpinning the ability to assert your needs and to communicate effectively with your ex-partner and with your advisors.
• Emotional Intelligence – Understanding the importance of exercising self-control to help avoid behaviours or actions that create or perpetuate feelings of resentment, anger, guilt and helplessness in yourself and/or your ex-partner.
• Assertive, Passive and Aggressive Behaviour - Identifying different behaviour styles and characteristics in yourself and others, and learning how to apply the assertiveness model to achieve the best outcomes from communications and negotiations with your ex-partner, family, friends, your solicitor, financial advisor and mediators.
• Request making and refusing - Identifying ways of being polite but clear and direct in the process of making and refusing requests in order to reach a quicker resolution and avoid unnecessary, frustrating and expensive stalemate.
• Dealing assertively with criticism - Learning how to give and receive criticism in an effective manner.